Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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