idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
this is an emotional support booty call
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
