"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
