I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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