What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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