ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
