I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
