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do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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