We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it glows. i had to have it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
