this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
