what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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