just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
