Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
