Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
