That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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