As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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