The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
