I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
