In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
