I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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