just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
