the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
