hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
