I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
