I cockslap morals
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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