I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
