ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
