Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize