i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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