Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
