omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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