VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
