She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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