No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
