pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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