Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
