I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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