You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize