All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
