My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
