They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize