Someone shit on the floor
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
