remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
