yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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