I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
