Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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