Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
