two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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