If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
