Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
