we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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