As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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