I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
