i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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