Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
