Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
A bitchslap is in order.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
