either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
