My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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