butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize