I accidentally had phone sex last night
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
