I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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