Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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