HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
