why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
