Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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