I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
