im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
