3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
