We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Mom said you looked used
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
