im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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